Defeat and Apathy / Evening Escapes / Note to Calvin
Remembering a friend's witness to reach out and invest.
Something Better Than Defeat and Apathy
Doug’s sister Rebecca has been a dear friend of mine for years. When we moved back to Michigan she came to our home a few times a week to help me with Calvin. Growing up with Doug made her aware of the flexibility and “roll-with-the-punches” attitude needed in a special needs home. She would work alongside me, working with our hands while chatting and having companionship over nearly every topic one could explore.
And she really did roll with the punches. She learned about g-tubes and suction machines without batting an eye. Nothing phased her. One of my favorite memories is a rather stoic but kind woman from the church arriving at our home, and Rebecca telling her she was an “angel of mercy.”
When they invited us to celebrate Doug’s birthday, we were honored to join. Darryl and I drove up to Jason and Rebecca’s house; we could see a few friends gathered, cozy winter lights twinkling in the living room, and Rebecca busy in the kitchen.
Doug’s syndrome prevents him from living independently, so Rebecca and Jason are finishing the basement for him to have his own space with them on weekends. Out back behind the house, they are building a barn; well, Jason calls it a barn but Rebecca refers to it as a community center. :) “I want Doug to have community,” she said.
When has a community been life-giving to you?
This is the question I asked colleagues this week over Zoom. The question of community is something we’re exploring as teams remain remote with no sign of return as of yet.
I couldn’t help but think of people like Jason, Rebecca, and Doug. People who provide a place and relationships that welcome. A place to know and be known regardless of circumstance or status. A place to give and be given to.
This hasn’t been community as most of us know it in 2020. Since we’re physically distant, interaction has been limited and social media and media have largely defined the way we relate to one another. And it’s been painful for most.
Romans 12 gives us a guidebook to Christ-centered and life-giving community:
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
I love that last line: Don’t give up — either to defeat or apathy — but overcome evil with good. Truth, justice, and love may not reign in the nation or the headlines, but let it reign and rule us. We can obey and cultivate - who knows what will grow?
Here’s Doug, not quite sure what to do with all of us singing at him! They gave me permission to share. (Click the picture to see the video.)
Evening Escapes
1517: When the kids have all gone off to bed and there’s a bit of stillness in the house, I’ve been really enjoying a course by Chad Bird, an OT scholar called Christ in the Old Testament from the 1517 website. In particular, I enjoyed learning more about themes and continuity between the OT and NT. Enroll for free to Christ in the Old Testament.
All Creatures Great and Small: I loved the classic stories of this series and was excited to see that PBS is recreating a mini-series based on the tales of the favorite country vet. The scenery is peaceful and the pull to home is strong. I appreciated Jame’s write-up about it. If you watch it with the lens of home and community, I think it’ll add an extra layer as you take it in (this isn’t a blanket endorsement, I trust you’ll use your own discernment!).
Note to Calvin
I opened the doors to the back of the van to lower the lift. I turned around and caught this moment of delight on your face.
Fresh falling snow. I could tell you saw the brightness and were wondering at the wet falling on your cheeks and coating your long lashes. For a moment the fog of seizure meds lifted and your eyes were wide, curious, and full of delight.
It made me smile and my own face became a bit wet - whether from the snow, wind, or longing I couldn’t tell. I just realized how little I get to know of you. And how much I want to.
For now, we’ll have to do with this. I’ll shower you and cut your hair and stretch your sore muscles and massage your feet. I’ll choose the music for you to listen to and guess which story you want me to read.
And you, you’ll wait, holding onto all the thoughts you can’t share and the words you can’t speak. I can only imagine how much you want to share. To experience. To know. To tell.
We’ll live out this long season of waiting together. You and me.
~mom
Straight from your ♥️, ALL of these thoughts! Thank you for sharing, Kara! Marty and I saw him in the parking lot on Sunday and congratulated him snd he responded with, “I am an old man:)” We all cracked up🤣!
This is incredibly touching Kara! We all have our journey; with daily pains intertwined like branches in a bush, sometimes hard to see through! This was such a timely message. Thanks so much for sharing. Burdens can be overwhelming but our dear Saviour is our burden bearer... ❤️Wilhelmina Coates