So glad to be writing to you from my new online space for Think Twice - a simple weekly newsletter where I write about everyday life with a gospel perspective.
One of the best things? You can now leave comments below the email, so stop in and say hi. :)
Dear Reader,
My kids left for school this morning cheering that it was the “last day!” before Christmas break. The door slammed and I sit here not quite ready to tidy up the whirlwind left behind.
With cookies in the freezer ready for a decorating party, sleds in the garage waiting for snow, and presents in my closet waiting to be wrapped — we’re anticipating lots of little joys even though our minds are worried about family members and there's a bit of disappointment with altered plans.
It reminded me that no matter how hard we try, we cannot craft the perfect experience for our kids in life. But I would suggest to you, there are far better things we can give, especially when plans for the season (or life) have awry.
More Than a Perfect Childhood
I had it upside down. I wanted the best childhood for my kids and felt like a failure when I couldn’t deliver.
Not enough money to do what the others were doing.
Not enough time for the extras — like sports, swimming lessons, and summer trips.
Tears of frustration at the table from a stressed-out mom, instead of happiness from the energized and fun parent I had planned to be.
Vacations an impossibility, holidays an afterthought. “Can’t we have just one normal holiday?” I cried in the hospital room.
We’ve had hard times (still do) but, overall? I’ve learned:
Kids don’t need a problem-free childhood. They need to experience God’s presence in the problems and faith in the fire.
They need far more than problem-free circumstances and every dream reached. They need to learn, from us, how to make it through and grow when dreams are lost.
They need love. Love that perseveres through difficulty when the joy has faded and resources are few.
They need faithfulness. Not to things and dreams, but spouses to each other and whole families to the One who redeems.
They need perseverance. They see you making the breakfast and folding the laundry even as trouble unfolds. Showing up for others, learning the rescue of routine, and the momentum of “do the next thing.”
They need more than polished parents. They need to see your tears and then the grit and the grace that fills those spaces between yesterday’s hopes and today’s fears.
They need more than vacations. Delight has no price tag and joy cannot be bought.
And mostly? They need parents who are happy to be with them. Those who don’t just love them, but like them too. They seem to know the difference.
They need significance, and not just praise for the grade or called out for obedience delayed.
They simply need to be important. To you.
And out of that space, they get it when the next medical crisis comes, dinner’s left untouched, and off to the hospital you rush. They learn it from you.
Somewhere along the line, with enough love and grace, they learn the greatest things in life often can’t be gotten, only given.
This is God’s grace — growing good and lasting things in kids that only He can give, in the heart and homes where hard things live.
You Could Have It All (Book Highlights)
As an avid reader with too many book piles and not enough retention, I’m summarizing a book each week on Instagram in stories. The challenge? I’m limiting it to ten slides.
My goal is to share the main highlights of books for those in a season too busy to read or perhaps, for those wanting to grow their own book stacks.
You Could Have It All is a short evangelistic book by Geoff Thomas, an elderly pastor from the British Isles. It’s good for those curious about the Christian faith and an accessible reminder of the Gospel and benefits for the Christan.
You can check out the summary of You Could Have It All, even if you’re not on Instagram.
In the Kitchen
This week I ran into a friend while grocery shopping, which, let’s face it, ranks as a key social event in 2020. We compared recipe ideas (as women needing new ideas do) and swapped. It did take me wandering around the store until I could get some decent wi-fi to google her recipe - but I came home full of hope and coleslaw.
It was SO good. So as a friend, I’m passing it on to you: Egg Roll In A Bowl. Eat with tortilla chips for a little extra crunch.
May your kitchen smell delicious, may your kids love their dinner, and may 2020 hold more grocery store encounters.
until next week,
~kara
P.S. I feel like you want a quote. Right? What IS an email without one? So I present you this gem to think on:
“Today in the secular Western world, one way female degradation is manifested is through erasure. What has always been regarded as perhaps the most beautifully unique capability of the female body — gestation and birth — is now, apparently, open to men too. The term “women” will be linguistically manipulated into something without physical reality. But the Church must continue to be a refuge for women. That means we continue to recognize and honor the uniqueness of women, refusing to erase her.” ~Allie B. Stuckey
Such a great post! I immediately wanted to share it with my daughters, all in the midst of the challenges of mothering right now...
So straight from your heart, Kara! God has gifted you with the special gift of articulating your thoughts and bringing honor and glory to Him in the process AND teaching us other ways to view God's providences in our lives! He is always at work to "grow" us - I grow through your insights, my friend - such a blessing! Wishing you and your family a Blessed Christmas and 2021, Kara!